Astounding News from Internet Time

 
Unique TechTime Confererence Event

Join a LeMans pit crew for 24 hours! Be part of the Scuderia Ferrari in the pits for the day-long race. Learn to smoke nonfilter cigarettes and drink grappa from the bottle. Fight off scuderia groupies. Race the clock to replace the 10 spark plugs, crankshaft, and CD player on a Ferrari F2204 F1 racecar. All instruction is in Italian. Ciao!

 
 
 
Internet Time Group CEO Jay Cross announced today that contrary to rumor, his company has no plans to be acquired by Google in 2007.

Cross would not deny that Internet Time plans to offer a learning management system dubbed iLMS which costs $35 and fits in a pocket.
 
 

Leadership Awards Competition

For the first year in a row, Internet Time Group will recognize training and development companies with a series of awards to be announced at the La Brea Tarpits on the day of the summer solstice..

• Gold Medal Performance. … to the organization that pays us the most in consulting fees during calendar year 2007.
• Wisdom Appreciation. …to the organization or government that gives Jay the highest fee for a one-hour speaking engagement.
• Savoir Faire Aware. … to the company that buys Jay the most sumptuous expense-account dinner.
• Top of the Heap Vendor. …to the vendor who pays the most to win an award.

Our reasonable application fee of $25,000 sufficiently narrows the field that you might win. Enter as many times as you like. Winners will be recognized in:

• Internet Time press releases
• Story in winners’ hometown newspapers
• Personal letters to stakeholders’ moms and dads
• Hero medals to wear at the office
• A complimentary subscription to InfoWeek
• A head start on winning next year’s competition
• Discount on TimeTech Certificates

Internet Time Group assumes no responsibility for CLOs who lose their jobs for spending money on self-servicing contests like this.

 
 
 


Internet Time Group announced today that Informal Learning Blog is going Open Source. That’s right, anyone may now read Informal Learning Blog for free. Readers are free to reshape the blog by adding comments. We are doing this out of the goodness of our hearts, not for commercial purposes.

Free Analyst Webcast! Global Enterprise Learning

Join the entire research staff of Internet TIme Group in this professional, unbiased report on best practices around the world. Our analysts have been sequestered in a soundproof cavern under Mount Shasta for the last two years to insure their views have not been compromised by our sales department or contaminated by our webinar sponsors.

Learn how
you can:

• Buy our reports to make your decisions for you.
• Get free design blueprints that look suspiciously like sales literature.
• Sign up to buy our sponsor’s bloatware.
• Put on propritary software handcuffs to demonstrate your commitment.

Also at TechTime: DIY Certificates

Want to be recognized for what you know? Hang proof of your accomplishments in a frame on your office wall:

Certified Conference Goer
Certified Internet Lurker
Certified Manager of Readiness
Certified Help Desk Drone
Certified Facilitator

Only $300 each. (All five for $1,000.) Personally certified and signed by me as soon as your check has cleared. Add $200 for addtional Ph.D in learning objects.