Meme theme

Harold Jarche has infected me with the “five things you don’t know about me” meme.

1. Before I realized I had ADD, I would open presentations at banking conferences with jokes like, “I had a miserable Thanksgiving with my folks. I meant to say, ‘Mom, please pass the mashed potatoes,’ but instead I said, ‘You stupid bitch; you ruined my life.’”
2. Celebrity! I helped Dudley Moore take his luggage off the carousel at Heathrow. I talked with The Kingsmen and Bo Diddley in their prime. I’ve chatted with Wavy Gravy, Herb Caen, Alice Waters, and Jerry Brown. I’ve flown with Jesse Jackson. Burt Lancaster and Romano Brazzi were on my cruise to Europe on the S.S. United States. I once walked right by Fred Astaire but didn’t recognize him. I’ve seen Jimmy Durante, the Lone Ranger, and the Sons of the Pioneers up close and personal. I never met Julia Child, Pierre Trudeau, or Geraldo Rivera.
3. Gastronomy! Once in New Orleans I ate crawdads, snake, turtle, oysters, crab, and gator within a 24-hour period. I downed my first beer at the Hofbrauhaus in Munich. It was so good I drank two liters.
4. Linguistics! The first phrase I learned in French was, “What do you want, eggs in your beer?” I can say “Shit!” in five languages. I can also say “What a pity!” in those languages.
5. In my youth, I talked a State Trooper out of a speeding ticket for going 24 miles over the limit on the New York Thruway headed to West Point. Before the Revolution, my family owned West Point. They sold it to the Federal government but congress tried to stiff them for the payment.

• (For extra credit). My great grandfather bought a patent on the cylindrical cotton bail.