Judith Hale at TDF

I had seen Judy Hale in the Speaker Ready Room at many a conference but until last Monday afternoon, I’d never heard her speak. I’m glad I attended her session for she is both witty and wise.

Judy walked us through a model of working with a client. You’re always dealing along two axes.

The relationship progresses from listening for what the client wants (and they never know) to demonstrating your understanding, to getting them to consider alternative solutions, to shared problem-solving, and eventually to experimentation.

Psychologically, you move from being a stranger to their advocacy of you. This is “The Private Agenda.” Judy told us about the student living at her house. Her plan is to graduate in March and get married in April. There’s a problem: no available male in sight. On the first date, she wants to know how many kids the guy wants; there is no second date. These things take time. (I, of course, suggested experimentation.)